My picture

You know, it is very irritating that in my picture I look like I could be at my goal weight! I think I look awesome, if I dare say so myself. And to believe this picture was just taken a week or so ago. How is that possible? The sad thing is, if you look below my neck I'm still F-A-T!!! I'm so tired of people telling me I have a pretty face. Isn't that nice people speak for 'she's fat, but she's nice so let's tell her she has a pretty face'? I know people are trying to be nice, but if you haven't been in a fat person's body, it's hard to understand! I absolutely HATE being fat!! Why can't I seem to do anything about it?! Of course, I've been through the, 'oh I must have a thyroid problem', etc., but who am I fooling? I can't keep my fat little fingers away from the food!! That is the bottom line and I need to learn to stay away from it or I'll be fat all my life! Good grief, food is like a freakin' drug....it is a disease, whatever you want to call it. It is a nasty 'habit' that I have been trying to break for years and for some reason I can't break it! Maybe I should go to a 'fat farm' or something....who knows?! Do they have 'rehab' for fat people?! Maybe I should start one.

Sorry about the ranting! I normally am such a happy, positive person, but I'm disgusted with myself....with the way I look, I'm embarrassed for my husband to see me, and think he must feel the same way I do. Why wouldn't he?! He looks at the same fat that I do...why would he feel any different about it?! I don't know...maybe he loves me because I have a pretty face, like everyone else says. At least I have that! LOL

Ok, I'm done now. Hopefully you won't have to listen to this again. Hopefully, I can pull it all together and turn my life around! With God's help, anything is possible. Thank you God, for loving me even when I don't love myself!!